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"How Does Perception of Safety Change When Going Out Alone Versus with Someone You Trust?"

Happy Spring Equinox! If you are in any other part of the house you have heard from me in some way earlier today. For those of you strictly subbed to the blog let's have a chat in The Family Room. My over analytical Virgo Rising would like to have a talk. Come on in...

The House of Oshun Family Room

How many times have you gone out with someone and feel a sense of protection and solidarity? I'm not speaking only of dating or only with your friends, and family. This is across the board. I ask because of course I wanted see if I'm tripping or nah.

I attended a baby shower a couple of months ago and was asked, "why are you sitting back here and the good ole, I'm not about to sit back here. First of all, I have my reasons for sitting a certain way when I go anywhere and especially if I don't know anyone. Secondly, why does where you decide to take a sit/shit bother other people so much.

My perception changes depending on the person, place, connection, and situation. No, seriously. If I'm out alone or in an environment with lots of different energies, setting energetic boundaries are cool but what about the seating arrangement and escape plan.

You may say, Lulu you taking it too far. Escape plan? Really you need to figure it out. Well, I have figured it out. When I was younger I learned some pretty grounded rules about life:

  1. don't take a drink at a club if you didn't watch it being prepared

  2. do not get sloppy drunk in public and especially with randoms or no one who will have your best interest in mind

  3. be the master of your surroundings at all times

  4. when hanging with celebrities always take someone who will "turn up" on your behalf, never be that girl

  5. always peep how many ways in and out there are in an establishment

  6. if a person asks you to attend an event with them find out what their motives are before saying yes ( this will keep a lot of young ladies from being set up and harmed by their so-called friends)

There is so much information that was passed down and I'm sure you have laws that govern you that are long as the Trinity. Now then there are 3 primary things I want to discuss briefly and I'll wrap this up.

The first thing is going out alone to random places. One of my favorite things to do is showing up somewhere it's kind of like spin the globe and where your finger lands is where you go. Well, let's keep it in town for the sake of reality at this time.

When I go out to random places it's the same as going out with someone I don't gel well with. I'm peeping the scene upon entry and sitting or standing in a safe zone. If I need to and keeping my interactions to a minimum. Often times when I go to random places these days it is not as 'exciting' as it used to be. In the sense of goings on's and what not. I'm older now I enjoy the journey of ant carrying a big as leaf back to it's Queen.

When I go places these days I really want to experience the architecture, the aesthetics, the air, and the overall environment. Of course, there are people at these places. However, my perspective is different when I attend places alone or with someone that doesn't respect silence, basically.

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The second thing is being invited somewhere by someone who I haven't known long. When taking this route it can be interesting. Although the person isn't a strong and safe connection

the invite is appealing, right? So again scoping out the energy of the person prior to and during the event is important to me. How does the person handle things that are a security concern? Do you trust this person to order a drink for you?

I have questions because these things matter.

You may be saying it's not that serious. Chiiiii, have you seen how things have changed? Moving forward.

Finally the third thing is going places with someone who gets it. They understand your quirks and you theirs. This is when things are safe and even when they are not you and the person work together to comfort one another.

You see this type of going places with has more to do with well traveled people or people who have been through a lot. Look this is my perspective ok (feel free to tell me your perspective in the comments.) These type of people can peep the scene the way you do or peep things that you may not see. This makes for a more enjoyable and relaxed experience for sure.

OAN: I have my qualms about going out with someone and they're easily embarrassed or have an image to live up to. Makes for a boring outing for sure.

This conversation is inspired by a friend of mine. She was out partying with some high rollers and they did not give two shit's about her beyond the 'fun.' On her way home her car veered off the road and hit a light post electrocuting her on impact.

I've tried to do things in a way that works for others and had to develop my individual fool-proof way of doing things. Which is always encouraged in this House.

Alright that is my unfiltered rant for the day. I'll come back later and edit. Talk to you all soon!

What are your does and don't when going out with others?

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Mar 31
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

Thanks for sharing and I feel you all the way. It's sometimes the lesson learned the hard way. But sometimes for stubborn people, that's the only way they learn. I have learned to trust my gut/intuition. If it doesnt feel right, get out before it feels worse. Hrrd knox lessons for a hard head. But I trust myself now and learn and grow. Thanks again for your wisdom


Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

I’m older also just turned 50 on the 12th, I have always been an introvert my whole life and always went places with friends and family whom I trusted. But I came out of my shell somewhat after my divorce and started doing things alone like movies, long walks in the park, and nice restaurants. It made me more confident but I do feel out my environment when going places and I’ve never been a club scene type of person so I would never go to those places alone I barely have gone with friends I usually skip out on those things because it never resonated with me unless it was a family or friend party or event. Thanks LuLu

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